Friday, June 25, 2010

let me explain.

as babies we delight in discovering the world around us.

we relish the joy of finding out about things, but most importantly we find out about the people surrounding us.

we learn to read emotions. we learn to manipulate others with a smile, or a grimace, or most often a a long painful period of bawling.

as kids, we learn how to make friends.

it's the purest form of friendship.

there's no deceit, or fake personalities, or even secrets.

friendships made at this point, if they last, are the closest and most intense of all.

but that rarely ever happens, and those who manage it are lucky.

kids are so free of problems.

when you're five, nothing means anything;

school is just a place where you go and find friends.

i don't really remember it anymore. :/

kids hold hands without reservation.

they're perfectly happy with each other.

perhaps i'm only remembering the good things.

but i was watching a kindergarten class today...

that, at least, was what i saw.

contrast that with now, when touching anybody of the opposite sex is an absolute taboo, unless you're really good friends or... more. (:

admittedly as you get older the stigma lessens, but even so, the taboo still holds.

why does our society abhor physical contact?

is it because of the Asian values that are still retained in the region?

propriety and uprightness and keeping your hands to yourself have been part of our lives for many generations.

affection isn't shown directly, but through subtle actions and words, because we are simply too scared to admit anything to each other.

or perhaps it's because we've been fooled by the media.

every place in the body is a taboo zone simply because the act of touching in itself can be taken to imply sexual interest or contact - and with the majority of society becoming increasingly obsessed with sex and release (just look at the Japanese), physical contact has become inextricably associated with the act itself.

yet in America, everyone routinely engages in it. Trading hugs is commonplace, and so are most of the tenets of contact. Why the disparity in practice?

If we consider that American relationships routinely end in breakup, divorce, and disgusting amounts of grief, the answer is then clear: emotion.

Physical contact helps to share feelngs and provides a physical representation of one's emotions for another individual. Whether holding hands, a hug or a three-on-two orgy, physical contact is necessary - if you're someone who likes to, needs to, express her feelings summarily and concisely. A hug says what 300 convos on msn possibly can't. A hug is more intense than countless nights spent on the phone, talking about inane, random goings-on. But there's another side to the story.

Hugely emotional relationships rarely work out, on account of the hugely emotional state of the parties involved. And that leaves us in the middle of nowhere.

Some people may scoff and think I'm just a horny little bitch who wants to be touched.

Maybe. I can't stop you from thinking that.

But for the rest of us, consider this:

Where did we get warped by society's perceptions?

When did we change from innocent kids into sex-crazed, lonely people filled with paranoia and insecurity?

I'll leave that to you to decide.

And go hug all your friends.

It's easier and less painless than you'd think.

ciao.