Saturday, August 7, 2010

unexpected.

so much happened today O:
but it's not really bloggable stuff?

not what i consider bloggable. xD
i guess mundanity doesn't really appeal to me, thoughts do.

everytime anyone comes here they'll find an interesting if hard to understand read 8D
....which looks a lot like i'm emoing.

most of the time i'm really not, i'm just contemplating O:

at any rate.
NUSHNCC SPECS!
we'll all work together for the next 12 months 8D
let's make the unit and the current part Bs as awesome as we are :D

ciao for today ;D
i don't feel any different xP

gave up waiting at 12:16 AM

Thursday, August 5, 2010

i realised i haven't come here in awhile D:

caught up with stuff, not much to talk about anyway.

i'm losing myself in routine.
i'm subscribing to the common ideal.
i'm becoming another faceless identity in the throng of masses.

it doesn't do to stand out from everyone else, to be the one that everyone looks at, to be the person that everyone knows and sees, because in the end,

you're just another face in the crowd.

and once that crowd isn't relevant anymore, you aren't either.
why is it that nobody wants to escape this relentless march of mutability, of changing identity, of forced anonymity?

i guess the only way is to be true to yourself.
the ones in the corner may not look like the happiest people in the world

but think again: that's from your perspective.
and you're one of the people in the crowd.

i don't know how to get out of routine either :/
the classic remedy is, of course, to find something fun in your life all the time!

easier said than done.
everything gets boring after you try it.

to find new joy in something is harder than one can expect.
and the things i really want to do...

sit in a comfortable chair with the person i love and have a scintillating conversation. read a book. watch the sunset. relax.

there are two kinds of joy: sedentary and active.

i don't mind that, either. i don't mind trekking through whatever pathetic forest trails this island has to offer. i want to go learn parkour. i want to run and jump and feel alive.

i want all those things.

but time is the limiting reagent in the chemical equation of life

and the catalyst, most of the time, doesn't exist

the impetus to act isn't there.
and when it is there, there are so many things in the way.

i guess servicelearning stuff is one way to kill two birds with one stone.
but even that's an escape route, and in the end nobody can run away from lessons and class and schoool and the rigorous regime of the administration and the homologous hive mind of the populace.

the ones in the corner are the happiest, because they don't have to talk to anyone.

that being said, the good thing about succumbing is, of course, the road out of ostracism.
makes things more convenient.
makes it easier for you to do whatever you want, most of the time.

maybe everything above is an excuse.
maybe i should just go out and get going and start doing things.

all i know is that something's got to happen.
something should happen.

everyone is growing up around me and i'm still the old man who watches over everyone.
i'm pissed because i'm not getting any character development.

hey, if this was a fantasy story, i'd die trying to protect someone -__-
the good thing is that i'd be like the second most powerful character in the series at my point of death, barring the actual antagonist!

...of course, the little snot-nosed protagonist would probably take a level in badass after two books and go, idk, one winged angel on the villain.

LIMITBREAK~

...there. that's what happened for the past three weeks.
maybe the past few years.

i need somebody to love again, or maybe someone who loves me.
:/

read this: http://www.viruscomix.com/page474.html
don't get put off by the words. ;D

gave up waiting at 5:56 PM